Senior year...

How any one survives past senior year is beyond me.

I Just got back from senior prom and now I am suddenly extremely sad. More sad than I have been about the end of high school. Most would be glad to be getting out of high school, and in some ways I am. I other ways I am completely terrified. I fell like my life is ending. I keep thinking of all of the things that I should of done better. But now it's too late. Time keeps passing bye too fast. Pretty soon I will be graduating and I will never see any of my friends again. This really is the end of my life. This life is ending. The life with the people I've seen everyday for the past few years. The life of living with my parents and family for the past 18 years. The Life of going to school five days a week with teachers and principals basically taking care of me. My whole life I've known exactly what to do. There was always someone making the rules and setting the schedule. Now I have to decide what to do after Highschool. What to do. After graduation I start a new life. I will be in control and I will be responsible for making decisions. I will meet new people make new friends, and basically be cut of from the old ones. It's scary to think that soon all of what I know will be gone. I will live in a new place and be doing different things. I am so deathly afraid of change...


Tonight was such a great night I sometimes wish that when I fall asleep I will never wake up. I don't want to face tomorrow. I wish I could just cease to exist. wouldn't that be great. to bad.


I'm stuck in this never ending torturous insanity called life.