My house, my rules. MY ASS.

I'm eighteen years old, and a senior in high school. Along with becoming a senior came more respect from my mom, even more after my eighteenth birthday. After turning eighteen, my mom would tell my little brother that I could do this or that because I'm an adult. She has been telling me that I can and need to make dicisions for myself. Today was one of the worst betrayals of that. I got a long (unlogical) lecture and (rediculous) question hounded at me. all while my step dad kept getting closer, yelling in my face. I think that the right to remain silent should be a right in our own house as well. but then again there's the "YOU ARE THE CHILD" factorI'm thinking really last week I was an adult.I generally refused to answer all of the questions (they don't understand anything I say. So when I do say something it just makes us them upset, and gives us more to argue about. I can't give them that satisfaction.) because they were almost entirely crazy and rediculous. I feel like I have the right not to answer. But of course "when asked a question you must answer... even if it is none of our business." and "'as long as you're living under my roof you have to follow my rules,' understand?" me "actually, no. I don't understand why I have to answer questions that I don't feel you even have the right to answer."Him. "fine then you're grounded till graduation!"me... thinking but not saying... (ohh wow. Like i had any where to go till graduation. I don't have any friends, and track got out last week. ha ha. the way to defeat a parents dicipline. have no life at all.)- that's really patheticI haven't been grounded for at least a year but this time it is not so bad. It actually feels quite freeing. Now no matter what I do I know that there is no more they can do to me. I did however start balling at the pure insanity of lack of respact they give to me. I don't know how they can disrespect anyone so much! even if i am the child. they are now completely powerless. what are they going to do? kick me out? - yeah right. My mom can't even kick out her enemies. Later my mom came to talk to me. And as always she spews nonsense while i just sit there. I know that if i say anything it will just drag it out and get nothing accomplished. I have the whole thing going through my head of what I could say, but I just sit there in silence with tears rolling down my cheeks. My mom just keeps saying illogical nonsense, I don't even think that she believes it's true. I head it in her voice one of the times, she realized that what she said makes no sense at all. She couldn't even I can't believe it didn't save it all. this is only half of it. I could be deeply troubled by that fact that I wrote an epic blog and a large portion of it was lost. by I do have some other stuff to add, different from what I had before. it hurts so bad.the pain is so great It hurts so badly that I feel scared, weak, unsafe. my chest hurts. i can't breathe. However, I cannot and will not show my mom the hurt she has caused me. I must put on an act to ward of more questions and monolouges- though this will be what my mom wants (she expects me to act happy like nothing happened. it will show her what a brat I am,) I will not give either of them the satiesfaction of knowing the pain they've caused me. If my mom ever saw this I'm sure I would die. that is one of the risks of posting it online, but I feel better with it being where the whole world can see.... i don't know why it strangely makes me feel better. sorry for the spelling mistakes, the spell check didn't work. darn, I just remembered that at the very bottom was a kind of revelation/ question to the world. I guess I will have to post it later. I am in too great of pain and have to prepare for tomorrow.