Power Struggle

My whole life I’ve waited to be grown up. I’ve just been longing for the time when I was independent. All I’ve ever wanted was to make my own decisions and not rely on anyone. When I first began Master’s Commission one of the most difficult parts for me to accept was that I had to give up a certain amount of control in my life. It was difficult for me to abandon the very thing that took me a lifetime to attain. It was uncomfortable knowing that I was no longer in control of my life. It is only now that I see how contrary my world view was to God’s.

When I had planned years ago to participate in a discipleship program like Mater’s Commission, I thought that it would prepare me for my future in full time ministry. I make my own plans on how I think things will work out. I thought that Master’s Commission would be a time of learning the “How To’s” of ministry. Thinking I could bring all of my problems along, not making any personal change, but acquiring knowledge and strategies to saving people, the way I had imagined it would be hard work, but fairly painless. As it turns out, God want to change me and heal me. God’s way might require more work, but is always better than my way of doing life. Only God knows the things I need to do in order to grow and be ready to change the world in the great ways He has planned. Since He is the expert on my life and everything in this world, why would I not give up the control and let God take care of it? Even though I want the power of being in control, I want more to be used by God and bring Him the Glory. With God I can do greater things.